Lili Marlene XX

Sorry I haven't written anything lately, but I've been sick most of the time, yeah it sucked. I feel way better now though, but not 100% yet.

W00t! Marlene has QUIT her stupid fucking job!!! *dances* :D =D Happy Happy HAPPY!!! Yesss Pinky, Yesss! 8)

For my Chair(wo)man sitting on my right:



I found this a few weeks back in a newspaper, and it made me think of you. :)

So...

Life sucks at the moment, things are going wrong. Work sucks, I hate it, and some of the people I work with I would like to shoot. I miss Berlin, I'm starting to think I shouldn't have come back to NZ afterall.

That's all I have to say. Alone as always, all I have is my music and films to comfort me.

You should see this, because it's great. I saw it at a cinema on Monday, it's from 1951.





Love Humphrey.

I went to my brother's engagement party today. It was nice. :) He finally asked his girlfriend of nearly 9 years to marry him, and it's about time. :P Damn slacker, haha. No, but seriously, I'm happy they're finally getting married, I always thought and hoped they would, because his girlfriend, Amanda, is awesome. She's just like a sister to me.

In other matters, you know when you think you might be able to finally be friends with someone, and one week you're fine and talking and everything, and the next week it's just like ugh, hitting a brick wall, and hardly saying a word and it seems as if you're on two different planets? I don't even get why it happens, but it does. I don't know if it happens to other people, or if it's just that I'm doomed to be left out and never understood by anyone, because that's what it seems like. Even if they actually have the same interests as you do, which you know amoung us is extremely hard to come by, and you can talk about that with them, and it's great and everything, but you still somehow feel so distant and alone? Why. I just don't get it. I must be that unsociable or something. I guess I just have completely different ethics and taste to people, and different ideas of what's right and wrong, and what I do and they don't, and what they do and I don't. Like, for example, some people at my work go out together, and I hear them talking about having hangovers and what they did the night before, and I'm just like =| Because I don't really ever drink anymore, it's a really rare occurence with me, but they would never understand that, they'd just think I was strange or whatever. And I know no one else like that, that doesn't go to parties and get 'wasted.' I think they're all fucking pathetic. Anyway, it's extremely dissapointing when you think that you've finally found someone that could be like you, and that they might just understand you, but then it all turns to nothing again for some reason. Life.

On that subject, my job still sucks, I hate going to it. I've been there for two months now. I've given up on trying to find something better, since retail jobs are basically all the same anyway, and no one will give me an office job since I'm not 'qualified' to sort their mail or take out the rubbish or whatever. It's all such a huge joke, back not long ago you didn't need any bloody degree to do piss simple jobs, it sucks now. Fuckin' times. Anyway, I don't know for how much longer I will and can keep up this meaningless pointless job, depsite the money, at the most I hope I have to only stay there for another two months, and no longer. It's not like I even want any kind of job, but I need some money if I'm to go to University next year and if my boyfriend is going to come and move here. I'm actually going to quit once he comes here, but since I don't know how long that's still going to take, there's no end in sight at the moment, and that makes it all the much harder. I'll eventually have to get another job of course, but I want to spend some time just with him doing whatever we want for a while. And when I do get another job, it'll be hard to find something that's worse than my current job, so I have nothing to lose there. :P

I've been fighting a bit with my mum lately, she really gets on my nerves sometimes, and then she ends up shouting at me. I don't care nearly as much as I used to anymore though. I think I'm generally less affected these days than I used to be by almost everything, I think Berlin toughened me up quite a bit. :P

By the way, I'm nearly done with finally getting some pictures of me up on my Myspace again, so you'll be able to see that any day now. Last week I re-dyed my hair blonde again, so it's gotten even a bit more lighter, and there are some new pictures of me with it at the the end. My new LJ profile pic I have up is with the newly re-dyed hair. Just for you, Hills my Love. ;)

And now I'm off to bed, despite not being tired, but tomorrow it's back on the chain gang for me. =/

Courtesy of Miss Hills Love The Bold. =)


THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

- Marlene.
- Countess.
- Boo.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

- My creativity.
- My quite unique tastes, that I only share with a select few hip people. They know who they are. 8)
- I like how I like to laugh at stupid ignorant people who will never understand anything. :)

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

- That I seem to be too lazy at the moment with the things I'd like to do, like painting and playing my instruments. Not enough time. :(
- I'm just a bit too indecisive with practicaly everything. :P
- I should really have learnt/know more languages. I want to know at least five fluently, but that ain't gonna happen any time soon. =)

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

- German.
- French.
- Polish.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

- The future, all aspects of it.
- Insects/bugs.  O_o
- Heights,

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

- Music.
- A film.
- Sleep. :D

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

- Small silver hoop earrings which I permanently leave in since I have two ear piercings in each ear. :)
- Black nail polish.
- Blonde hair. ;)

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS:

- The Who.
- The Beatles.
- The Beach Boys.

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE ALBUMS:

- Quadrophenia - The Who
- Rubber Soul - The Beatles
- Time - Electric Light Orchestra

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:

- My pet snake is called Ziggy.
- I want a Lemming as a pet.
- Russian intrigues me.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:

- I want to travel somewhere different again.
- Have a better idea of what I want to study at University.
- Have a better fucking job, not that I want one at all.

THREE THINGS YOU NEED IN A RELATIONSHIP:

- Love.
- Trust.
- Shared interests.

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:

- Follow the straight and narrow path, in any area of my life. I ain't gettin' in tune to that, baby. ;)
- Give up on my dreams. Ever.
- I just can't stop loving yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou (All of you!). Feel the love. :D

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:

- Listening to exclusive groovay musik.
- Watching films I label as fab and classic. :)
- Painting and drawing and all that lovely arty stuffs. ;D

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

- Be with my boyfriend.
- Do something really exciting, like go white water rafting. In the middle of the night. ;)
- Be someone else, somewhere else, in another time, with other surroundings, and other fucking people!!!

THREE JOBS YOU'D CONSIDER DOING OTHER THAN THE ONE YOU HAVE:

- Fucking anything!!! Lmao. Well nearly anything anyway. Musician. 8)
- Director.
- Artist. :)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

- Brazil.
- New York.
- Some lovely little uncrowded tropical island - There's so many.

THREE KID'S NAMES:

- Lola.
- Mona.
- Layla. :)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

- Accomplish my dreams, do things my way (I did it myyyyyy waaaaay!), and live a long and happy life.
- Travel the world! In a hot air balloon. =D
- Make a difference.

THREE PEOPLE WHO SHOULD COMPLETE THIS SURVEY:

- Animal.
- Kermit.
- Gonzo. =)

Oh my god I had one of the BEST ever dreams last night! I'll tell you all about it... I'm not sure where I was located in it, it wasn't in NZ, it might have been in America...

Anyway, I arrived somewhere in a taxi, in front of a really expensive posh hotel, and when I got out of the taxi I saw Robert Plant and Jimmy Page arrive. =D I don't know what happened after that anymore, but it was time for me to leave again (I can't remember now where I had been or what I did, I don't think I even dreamt any of that =P), and I got in to the taxi and looked on the ground and saw that Pete Townshend had been in there before me, because his ID card was lying on the floor! I picked it up and kept it. ;) As I sat down Robert and Jimmy got in to the taxi with me! It was so great!! I was so baffled at first, but then I said "Can I have your autograph, I'm a huge fan of yours!" I ended up having this really long conversation with Robert, while Jimmy just sort of sat there and didn't say anything. =P We talked about all sorts of things, and he said that he had seen Pete just before. For some reason my boyfriend was sitting outside on a bench doing something with his cellphone, he didn't seem very interested in talking to them. xP After we had talked for a while Robert gave me an old silver eftpos bank card of his (God knows why =P), and NZ $20, which made me ask him if he been to NZ, and he said he had been there just before. For some reason the $20 note was a bit cut up at the sides. Then I got an autograph from them both - Jimmy just did a small swirl of his name while Robert really elaborated it and had really nice handwriting with curls that said "To Marlene", and he did his name in a really special big way. =D And they were still young in this dream!! Like back in the old days. ;)

At first I couldn't even really tell them apart, and only when they autographed it did I really know who was who. =P And when I woke up from this dream and wrote it down I actually wrote Robert Page and Jimmy Plant, haha. It was all a bit mixed up, because I first thought I was talking to Jimmy, but then it turned out to be Robert. =S

After that a really weird thing happened and I was being chased up a really huge steep hill, where I had to pull myself up by these green plants to get to the top. Someone really evil was chasing me, I don't know who it was, but it had something to do with me talking to them because when I was awake I wrote down on my paper "But it was worth talking to Robert over!" So I must have known then what it was about, but I have no idea now. Also when I was being chased this song was playing over and over in my head too, a song I have never heard before, and that probably doesn't even exist. I'm not going to say what it was saying, because it's just stupid. =P

The mind is a weird thing... But I LOVED this dream!!! I woke up really happy because of it! =D I hardly ever really remember my dreams, and I've never really had such cool dreams like this one before, so I'm totally stoked. =) I haven't even been listening to any Led Zep lately, but maybe I should. ;D



OW!!!

I'm in a weird reckless mood today. Very strange. It's sort of like that dreaming not-quite-real feeling you sometimes get, you know the one? Like you don't really care about stuff and you feel like doing anything. Could become dangerous... *glint*

Sigh. But tomorrow it's back to normal boring work. I'm actually having a hard time deciding what to do with myself on my days off like today. =P

Eh, I've got a lot of crap going on too, a lot to sort out for the future, it sucks, and I just want it to be over and done with.

I've been watching these old cheesy horror films lately. I love them. They're so great.



















Hahaha. =D

Christ, I dunno what else to say on this thing.

I'm gonna fix this mess of a journal up later, don't worry. :P I wasn't satisfied with my last attempt, I get bored easily. Must be my obsessive compulsve disorder... ;)

Can someone let me know if this text is coming out curly like French Script MT, or if it's coming out differently?

Ciao for now Dhalings! I'm going to go to my room and do something creative, dunno what yet. :)

Yeah, so I'm here now. :P Hopefully I'll be able to keep this thing up, we'll see... Encourage me here guys!!

Til Later. 8)